12 in 2012 goal I gave myself a deadline for: getting down to 124 pounds by March 31. At the beginning of the year, I was just a few pounds shy of this goal. Even today, I weighed myself and was 127.6, less than three pounds from my goal.
That's problematic because I love chocolate. I also love Taco Bell. And without being able to have dessert every once and a while, I'll go crazy. I'm also an excellent baker (see my Double Caramel Fudge Brownies, Homemade Samoa Cookie Bars, favorite Oreo recipes and Dark Chocolate Amaranth Cookies, for starters) and it seems like a shame to waste that.
So yes, I failed. And I've made peace with it. I realize I need to stop focusing on the scale, because that scale is a lying bitch. It doesn't know how hard I've worked or healthy I've eaten. Only I can know if I wake up in the morning with a clear head, settled stomach, rested body and pleasantly sore muscles. There is no measurement for happiness, and I'll be damned if a little white box in my bathroom tells me so.
For now, I'll keep running, stretching, guzzling water and pumping iron. One day, maybe I'll reach 124. Or maybe I'll put on some serious muscle and start looking like Jamie Eason (a girl can dream). Any way it pans out, I'm done being at war with myself. I need to give my body what it needs, and occasionally what it wants, because a life of balance is a life worth living.