Also, I had hoped that letting my divorce out of the bag now I could address all the lingering digital whispers and then I could sweep it all away in the excitement and anxiety of the Ironman. So without further adieu ....
I am scared. Scared my training hasn't been enough, my weight gain is too much and my head isn't in the game. I'm concerned my friends and family will be traveling a significant distance just to watch me fail. I'm worried I'll hurt myself, and am already bracing for the embarrassment of explaining why I didn't make a cutoff or had to accept my first and biggest DNF ever.
I'm not begging for sympathy, I'm just clearing the air to keep it real. As much as I wanted to become Ironbitch and embrace the bad ass side of me, life got in the way. Instead of a year of triumph, 2014 is shaping up to be a year of endings and beginnings and sadness and turmoil. I'm approaching this in the same way as I have the past few weeks - if you're going through hell, just keep going.
Time to find out if you can Barney Stinson an Ironman.