Kelly the Culinarian: Real-Life Captions

Friday, April 10, 2015

Real-Life Captions

I was reading Katie's blog and had to laugh about her "behind Instagram" perspective. Social media is an interesting beast. It's my job. I spend 12 hours a day sitting in front of a computer watching and waiting and strategizing and posting. It's weird that it's a job to see what people share about their lives online.

And I'd guess like 80 percent of it is total crap.

People aren't live tweeting the huge fight they got into or the mean thing their client said or the reasons you're mad at someone. We're presenting our best possible selves online, or at least the version of ourselves that we think will garner the most support, love and admiration.

So without further adieu, here are the real-life captions to some of my recent photos:

Real Caption: Happy Easter, ya'll!
Real-life Caption: My face looks fat and Napoleon is judging me for my zest for Easter drinks and sister brunch.

Real Caption: Easter at Mahoney Manor starts with a mimosa bar, naturally
Real-Life Caption: Wine glasses are the same as champagne glasses, right?
Real Caption: Running to the finish to marathon number six!
Real-Life Caption: This outfit is doing me zero favors. I need to switch to light beer.

Real Caption: Taking my medal out for a beer!
Real-Life Caption: Let's be honest, I drank two of these post marathon and probably ate an entire thing of Chilis chips solo, all without showering post race.

Real Caption: This home renovation is #Yorkie approved. Watch for my big kitchen reveal later this week.
Real-life Caption: I probably shouldn't let my dog up on the counter. I also probably should actually finish grouting, and cleaning, and be done with this, if I want to take an after photo anytime soon.
Real Caption: Awesome workout at CrossTown Fitness with LifeHalfFullBlog!
Real-life Caption: If I angle this camera just right, no one will notice this shirt is unflattering and I just barely made it out of this workout alive.

Real Caption: Does this car match my lipstick?
Real-Life Caption: Does this car make me look skinny? 
Real Caption: Getting down to business at the Chicago Auto Show's First Look for Charity!
Real-Life Caption: This is why I don't wear red lips. I need my own personal lipstick concierge following me around at events and touching me up. 
Real Caption: Met some friends at the F^3 Half Marathon!
Real-Life Caption: Now don't I look cute in my post-race swagger.


Kelly @ Running Kellometers said...

I just want to tell you that I think you are beautiful and amazing. Looking at your own thoughts, I just wanted to tell you that.

KellytheCulinarian said...

Thanks! From one Kelly to another, I appreciate the support.

Maggie W said...

Gurl, you are beautiful, don't put yourself down!! You do not need to switch to light beer or worry about camera angles.

Katie @ Live Half Full said...

Blogger class for better camera angles? I bet it exists. Until then, own it!

Losing Lindy said...

This cracked me up, I post what I am thinking..this might explain why I am not very popular!

I think you are amazing..I hope you think you are amazing too.

Zenaida Arroyo said...

I agree with Kelly and Maggie, you are beautiful!

Anonymous said...

This was awesome Kelly. I had a total laugh at the comparison (real life verse Fakebook) and yes, I think the "fakeness" of Social Media makes it kind of a beast.